Thoughts on paper, Feelings on ink

What do you call a poem when it's so blatantly emo but you don't want to categorise it because it's an amalgm of what your feeling that cannnot possibly be narrowed down to three letters slanged together?
I guess it's emo still right? Because that way it doesn't seem that real

UNDERSTANDING

If someone looked into my soul right now

They would see so much chaos

So many emotions playing hide and seek with each other

Never connecting, never being found

I don’t wonder about how this began

Though I do wonder when I stopped looking for a way to end it

It’s hard pretending to be this

When inside all I want to do is cry

From this nagging feeling I have

That everything around me is pretend

That one day it’ll all slip away

Everyone leaving in their own paths

A path that doesn’t include me

I hope they are trying to understand

To see through this wall

Maybe they’ll see how I’m reaching out to them

I will never ask them to

I was never good with words

But I know how this will end

I’ll be the one to give up first

I can keep trying but I don’t think they’ll ever understand

I don’t think anyone ever will

Don’t worry I’m not giving up

I’m just so tired of this

So drained

So pained

You want to know what’s funny though?

When tomorrow comes

I’ll go back to what I am to them

Because me putting up this show

That is what makes them happy

Never knowing me

But knowing that I will always be there

A constant shadow grey and forgotten

But always there to lean on in dark times

It’s all a script to a play

That we once wrote together

So long ago that we don’t even remember

We just follow along

But now I’ve found myself in act II and realising that

I’ve been the only one following

Words and actions so set in stone

Carved into my mind in permanent ink

Leaving behind rubber shavings of reality

A reality that everyone has found except me

Maybe I will never find it

Maybe this is where I’ll always be

In the middle of this chaos with no way out